A Walk Back Into Her Past...

As my fifth anniversary of being a published author approaches (which coincides with my 14th wedding anniversary), I have begun reflecting on my first release more. Reflections of Promises was released June 28, 2012.

I have learned so much since those earlier days and I still have such a long way to go. My writing style has changed, as well as my opinions on a variety of topics. I initially pulled the novel from the shelves in 2015, but since then I've sent it to my Betas, and I'm preparing to send it to my editor. The cover design has completely changed, and I can't wait for its re-release in a couple of months.

I'm sharing a special piece from the novel today on #WriterWednesday. Check it out...

Excerpt...

Patricia realized she had let one of her secrets slip. She looked up at Terrence with tear filled eyes. “Please…don’t ask me that. I don’t want to lie to you, but I’m not ready to reveal my lies,” she stated.
 
He nodded his head encouraging her to go on. She found comfort in knowing he would respect her wishes.
 
 “One day I realized I would be throwing everything away, if I didn’t get up and handle my business and get my degree like I’d planned. I mean if I kept going at that rate, I was going to fail school. Then I would have thrown our relationship down the toilet, and still not have an education to show for it.” 
 
“You are one amazing woman. I think that I do owe it to you to admit that you were right. I truly don’t think that I could’ve remained faithful all those years, but I also don’t believe that you could have either,” Terrence confirmed. 
 
“Looking back now you’re right. But you couldn’t have told me that then,” she replied with a smile.
 
Terrence turned to the back door to go back inside the house, as the music once again became loud. The upbeat tempo of “Back that Thang Up” started playing out of the speakers and the teenagers began bumping and grinding. 
 
“Come on, let’s freshen our drinks. We can finish the conversation in the living room where it’s a little quieter,” Terrence invited. 
 
“Sure,” Patricia replied, following Terrance inside. 
 
Time seemed to fly by as they sat in the living room and caught up on old times over a couple of glasses of wine. They laughed and giggled as they reminisced on how silly they had been as teenagers.
 
Their relationship had spanned a time period of two years. Terrence had been Patricia’s only friend, during a very difficult and depressing time in her life. After she had gone through a rough patch he had been the one to inspire her to move forward and believe in herself.
 
He encouraged her to give her best even when she didn’t feel like it. He had even been the one to help her to apply for college and make out her five year plan at that time. So, it was no wonder that both of their worlds had been rocked when she left him without a word.  
 
“Terry, I knew that if I had kept in touch with you, the changes that I made to that five year plan wouldn’t have occurred. I know you,” she shared.
 
“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You would’ve made me remain true to myself. That wasn’t an option at the time. We’d known each other since third grade, and although we didn’t become romantically involved until sixteen, no one knew me like you did. Being back here with you talking like this is like being at home again,” she confided.
 
“You are home, girl,” he teased, lightening up the moment.
 
“No, Terry, you’re home for me. You wouldn’t have approved of my need to change. You knew me in ways that no one else ever did or would. I’ve missed that, and I didn’t realize how desperately until tonight,” Patricia revealed.
 
“Wow.” He cleared his throat and rubbed his hand over his head, clear signs to Patricia that he was feeling discomfort.
 
Changing the subject, she asked “So your…wife what’s she like?”
 
“She’s…I don’t know. She’s…my wife. Umm,” he cleared his throat again. “She’s very intelligent, beautiful, inside and out, and very hot tempered.  Did you ever consider getting married?” Terrance asked.
 
“How do you know I’m not married?” Patricia bristled.
 
“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to assume that you weren’t. I just noticed that you weren’t wearing a wedding ring.”  
 
Patricia absently looked down at her finger. She had left it packed in her suitcase, until she had a chance to tell her mother. She laughed to throw off the tension. 
 
“Actually, you’re right, I’m not. I guess I just don’t have time with my career and all.”
 
She ran her fingers through her hair and looked back up into his face.  Terrance had always been on the lean side. But over the years he had put a little meat on his bones, she noticed not without appreciation. He still had those dark brooding eyes, the cleft in his chin and that crooked grin that was so sexy, it could make a woman lose her mind. 
 
She ran a hand through her hair again to clear those thoughts, because she was a married woman whether he knew it or not. And he was definitely a married man, with a ring to prove it. Although Jared had probably run back into Lauren’s arms by now, she refused to stoop to that point. No matter how tempting the eye candy. Besides, what they had was something between two foolish kids. Yes, he had been a true friend to her as well, but they were two full grown adults now. 
 
“Is your wife a jealous girl, Terry?” Patricia asked, as she pulled her legs up on the couch underneath her. Terrance watched as her dress slid up just a little, exposing her thighs.   
 
“Normally, no, but she might be under these circumstances,” he confessed.
 
“Why?” Patricia asked, as she began rubbing his arm tenderly and staring into his eyes.
 
“Because you’re a very beautiful, tempting woman. A woman who…a woman who was my first love.”

He ran his hands down his face and kept his face hidden for a moment. Sighing loudly, he turned his head sideways, allowing his eyes to caress her.
 
“There’s more. Shawn, I don’t know how to tell you this, but…” Terrance held his head down in his hands and then looked up at Patricia with a sad look in his eyes. 
 
She reached out to rub him on the shoulder to offer him comfort. She was startled when he jumped back, almost as though her touch was venomous.
 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you or offend you by—” 
 
“No, stop, Shawn. You didn’t offend or upset me in any way. Girl, I’m just having a hard time keeping my head clear around you,” he began. His voice lowered to a whisper as he continued to scoot closer to her.
 
“I mean, coming here today I didn’t expect to see you. Hell, Shawn, I didn’t even know you were back in town. When I stepped out on the deck this afternoon, you were the last face I expected to see. But…as soon as I saw your profile, I knew it was you. You’ve changed a lot, yet, the way that you sat and held your head was Shawn from way back. It’s like you being back has me questioning my life now,” he admitted.
 
Terrance distractedly began tracing a finger down her jaw line. As Patricia kept staring into his eyes, she found herself getting lost in the memory. Her heart began thrumming as she anticipated a kiss between the two of them. As their lips touched, she instantly drew back with a questioning look in her eyes. It wasn’t the fact that they were both married that had Pat’s head reeling. 
 
That little niggling thought that had been bothering her since he arrived, came back stronger. And she had to clear it out of her mind, and him out of her system. She stood up and walked to the other side of the living room to place distance between them. 

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