Forgiveness. Such a simple word, but not a simple action. This is a heart action that requires a decision on your part. We’ve all been hurt, we’ve all been broken, torn and abused in some form or fashion. Whether the action was intentional or not, it has impacted our lives and our choices.
For decades I chose to hold on to the infraction that was committed against me at a young age. I chose to allow it to become ingrained in me, becoming an essential part of who I was. I allowed it to define me, to stifle me, to bound and chain me. I chose to become steeped in the pain associated with it. I chose to become the victim.
Being a victim is not easy for anyone. It’s not easy for you, it’s not easy for your family, friends, and anyone who loves or comes into contact with you. It’s almost like a communicable disease. Portions of the symptoms will grasp hold of those you come into contact with and taint them, too. They have no understanding of why, but they suddenly become a victim of the victim.
Our choices and decisions reflect the pain that we have carried around like a proud badge of honor. Then we take that pain and fling it around like a blanket, allowing it to smack those who come too close. They continue to support us, continue to try to protect, and continue to stand by our side. Yet, they begin taking on the pain and the hurt and they become stifled, suffering needlessly.
My husband has taught me that it’s time to free the butterfly within, time to release the bird from the cage, time to stand strong, empowered and victorious. Time to…in his words, “Believe in Who you say you believe in.”
I heard Steve Harvey say that holding on to bitterness and un-forgiveness, is like drinking poison and waiting for the offender to die. And that’s exactly what we allow to happen to us when we refuse to forgive those who have hurt or wronged us. We’re not forgiving them for them, but for ourselves. We’re working to cleanse ourselves of the poisoned pill of bitterness, self-pity, deception, and evil.
It is such a freeing and healing experience to let go of the past. I mean really…what are we accomplishing by holding on to the anger and not forgiving those who hurt us? We don’t have to be in communication with them anymore, and sometimes we do. However, we can be free of the evil that comes with that hurt and pain. We can be free to heal, to live, and to love.
After all…He forgave us didn’t He?
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