This week our focus has been on learning from our affliction. More often than not we repeat our challenges in life, because we failed to learn the lesson the first time around. As adults if we're not careful, we can create generational curses that are passed down to our children, and so on and so forth. They repeat the same mistakes we've made.
When we go through the storm, learn and change our perspective and attitude, we're more likely to not repeat the process. Instead, we can teach our children to not repeat our mistakes and how to grow through the challenge. Naomi Chanel Blankenship knows a little something about learning from her mistakes and gaining spiritual maturity and growth through it all. Now she's ready to share the wealth of knowledge with her daughter.
Convincing Sasha to give her father half a chance was not easy. She wanted no parts of it and let me know she felt betrayed by the fact that I was even speaking to Jaime, let alone wanting her to spend time with him.
“Maybe you fell for his story, Mom, but I didn’t!”
“Sasha Kennedy Blankenship, get back down these stairs, now!” I was standing at the island chopping vegetables for the grilled steak burritos I was making for our dinner. My tempestuous daughter had stomped up the stairs at our latest disagreement about her at least calling her father. This had been going on for almost two weeks now. I was getting worn down and ready to give up. Jaime had called again this morning asking if I had made any progress. It took everything in me not to get angry with him.
Here I was picking up the pieces once again where he had failed his daughter. It seemed as if I had been doing that ever since the day he walked out. I was tired, but I had to know that I had given it my all before I gave up.
She marched back down the steps with her arms crossed over her chest and her lips poked out.
“You know, you look like you did when you were four and I told you that you couldn’t wear your tutu and ballerina slippers to school.”
Sasha didn’t so much as crack a smile. I blew out a breath and set my knife down. I walked to the sink and washed my hands, dried them on a paper towel, and walked over to where my daughter stood. I pulled her into my arms.
“What are you scared of, baby? All these years you wished you had gotten to know him. All these years you visualized him in your head, and now that he’s here, you won’t give him half a chance. Are you worried that he’s going to take you from me?”
Sasha shook her head no, not saying a word. I felt her shoulders shake and knew that she was crying.
“Then, baby, what are you afraid of?”
She still refused to say a word, and then it began to dawn on me. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. Sasha was so much like her father in so many ways. I had told her that throughout the years, and in her head, she had made him up to be fabulous and convinced herself he had died. Now it had to be a blow to her knowing he was alive and not as fabulous as she first thought. I realized my daughter was projecting Jaime’s failings onto herself, and it was impacting how she felt about herself. She was worried that getting to know him would reveal all of his flaws. And if they were revealed, she would be disappointed. That was scary to her, because to her, she was him.
“Come here,” I said, pulling her into the family room. I sat her down on the couch and went to the bookshelf to grab a photo album. I showed her picture after picture of herself at the various stages of her life. She saw pictures of herself as an infant with me, Ambiance, Paige, and my parents. She saw her at dance recitals, soccer games, swim lessons, award programs, birthdays, and so much more. I had shown her these pictures throughout the years at various times when she just wanted to sit down and look at them. But this time was different.
“What do you notice about all these pictures, Sasha?”
“I don’t know. He wasn’t in them?”
“No. That you were beautiful, and you were strong, and you were loved, and you were cared for. You
even see yourself having a tantrum in some of them. But what you notice above all is that I was there. Your family was there. And no matter what, love was never withheld from you. But more than that, you have to notice that Sasha was Sasha. You were who you were then, and now. No matter who comes or goes in this life, you will remain you. He cannot break you or make you baby. Only you have the power to give someone else that type of control over your life. And it’s up to you how you decide to be happy, how you decide to live this life, and how you decide to move forward. No one has that power but you. In all these pictures and stages of your life, you dictated your outcomes. We could want the best for you, but we couldn’t reach those goals, create beautiful art through dance on stage, or win those awards you won in life. Only Sasha could do that. Only Sasha held the power all those years ago, and only Sasha holds that power now. So, if your father isn’t who you wanted him to be, if you find that you’re disappointed in the image you created in your head, it’s your choice. You can continue to carry around an illusion created by you all those years ago, or drop the image you’ve held all these years and get to know the man he is. Learn the other part of your culture and what makes up Sasha. It gives you more power, more freedom, and more control over your life.”
Sasha took a deep breath within my arms and sat up. “I don’t know, Mom. I have to think about it.”
“That’s fine. It’s better than the resolute no and the shouting you’ve done the last couple of weeks. Just remember this, regardless of what your answer is, I love you and I support you. But keep it real with yourself.”
“Okay. I love you, too, Mom,” she stated, wrapping her arms around me.
Thanks for joining me for another #writerwednesday. Please leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you!
To join this blog simply click "Follow This Blog," "Subscribe," or "Email" links in the upper right corner.
For exclusive content, contests, cover reveals, and more join my newsletter.
About Chelle Ramsey...
Women's fiction author and blogger, Chelle Ramsey brings a refreshing perspective into the lives of her readers and wants them to find entertainment, healing and inspiration in each novel. Using real problems and challenges faced by ordinary people, Chelle wants readers to become empowered to rise above life's adversities, with faith in God, and belief in themselves.
Her stories are relatable to individuals of diverse demographics, who have suffered a loss, been hurt, have low self-esteem, have lost hope, or need a word of encouragement. She strives to take your emotions on a roller coaster ride, one page at a time. Chelle holds an MBA in Human Resource Management, which she puts to use in her Human Resources role by day, while she writes her fiction novels at night. And in her spare time, she’s a blogger, freelance writer, and ghostwriter.
Her most important roles are those of a wife and mother of three. During her “me time,” she becomes enraptured with the enthralling stories of Terry McMillan, Nora Roberts, James Patterson and Stuart Woods. Chelle Ramsey resides in a rural community in Atlanta, Georgia and enjoys writing, family time, and watching NBA games.
She hosts the annual 20 Days of Love authors’ blogging campaign, March Madness authors’ giveaways campaign, and showcases other authors on her blog at www.chelleramsey.com/beautifully-inspired-blog. Her novels can be found online at Chelle Ramsey Amazon.
Inspirational women's fiction author, writing the script to my beautifully inspired life!
Be Inspired, Follow Me!